Confessions of a young Valentine

I fear I may have put them off Valentine’s day for life by being a world class B. It wasn’t my intention. This happened a long time ago.

The first scenario was at Primary school. I hadn’t realised that this boy had admired me from afar. So part of my response, I think, was shock. However.  He was the most talented artist even at age 10, and he had drawn this beautiful card on a folded piece of white A4 paper. He had drawn the world in pencil with such accuracy, carefully coloured with appropriate blue water and green land and there stood a person. At the top written in angled bubbled writing was ‘I think the world of you’.

GULP.

I’m not sure what it said inside the card. But clearly, a lot of time, effort and thought had gone into this personalised card. So what, you may ask was my response to such an overture of love?

This is really hard to write. And I can’t believe this was my response. I was 10 and was probably rather embarrassed.

I ripped it up. Yes. I know. How awful. Not straight away. I clearly have this card etched into my brain so I looked at it for a while. But not long after receiving this card. I ripped it up.

If this happened to one of my boys I would be devastated for them after bearing their heart. So Matt K. I am sorry. I loved what you drew. Thank you. Please forgive me.

And there is more.

Whether it is as bad I’m not sure. But I guess if peoples feeling are hurt,  then there is no sliding scale here.

Valentines occasion number two was in middle school. This particular boy had been asking me out and I had not given him the time of day. As Valentine’s day drew near, on the quadrangle at school I conceded and said yes.

The next day he arrived at school. Box of chocolates in hands. Roses to be specific. I gladly took the chocolates and shortly after receiving said chocolates, I unceremoniously relinquished him from boyfriend duties. Dumped on Valentine’s day.

Ouch.

Chocolate roses were eaten (my bezzie and I were big chocolate fans) and not a second thought for the other side of the story.  If this happened to one of my boys I would be devastated for them for being brave enough to bear their heart. So Adam S. I am sorry. I loved the Roses. Thank you. Please forgive me.

As I sit here and heal the ghosts of Valentine’s past, I feel that 30 years is long enough to have held these stories with me. It is time to forgive that young girl who wasn’t so aware of peoples feelings and the impact that this could have. I think part of my reason for wanting to have boys was that girls can be so harsh!  And I was that girl on this occasion.

But what I take from it is that I have two boys who’s hearts are open and I can readdress the balance by filling them with a little love each day. This goes beyond a prescribed day to show your love.

This year even my husband doesn’t need to buy me flowers as I bought some myself when I recorded this recipe video. So maybe that’s the biggest learning of all from this week. Not just showing our love to others but to show it to ourselves as well and not wait for someone to do that for us.

However ever you choose to spend this Wednesday. Enjoy. Why not post up what you cook in our FFF Facebook community?

Chocolate fondant

This recipe will make at least 3 pots. If you are doing a double date and need at least 4, follow the quantities in brackets.

• • 125g butter, chopped (167g)
  • 125g dark chocolate, broken into small pieces (167g)
  • 125g caster sugar (167g)
  • 35g plain flour (47g)
  • 3 eggs (4 eggs)
  • Tbsp of cocoa powder
  • 2 dariole moulds 6fl oz (4 moulds)
  • Butter wrapper or parchment for buttering the moulds

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees C

1. Place the butter and chocolate in a bowl and place over a bowl of simmering water and leave to slowly melt
2. In another bowl break the eggs, add the caster sugar and flour and whisk together to make a smooth mixture
3. Rub the inside of the moulds with a little of the melted butter and then put the cocoa inside the mould and spin it round so that the mould becomes coated
4. Once the chocolate and butter mixture is melted add it to the other mixture and whisk until incorporated together
5. Measure 137g of the mixture into each mould and place in the oven for 13 minutes (If you want to cook them later just set aside until you are ready to cook)
6. You know the pot is ready when you take it out of the oven and the pot is cooked around the outside and has a sunken uncooked bit in the middle
7. Turn the chocolate pot out on to a plate, and either drizzle over single cream or a dollop of whipped cream